Honor was once something that gentleman once dueled to the death over.
Sure pistol dueling was too extreme, but caring deeply about one's honor served a very valuable purpose - it ensured ethical behavior, good manners, and team work.
We stopped the pistol dueling thing for good reasons, but we threw the baby out with the bath water.
We traded a deadly consequence for no consequence, and now honor is whatever someone wants to say it is.
It became socially acceptable for people to rationalize most any behavior and cry 'political incorrect foul' if anyone dare's challenge them.
Who are they to call out? How dare they! Imagine...expecting someone to do the right thing even when it's inconvenient...
To retain honor in a community, minimum standards must be met and exceptions must be dealt with.
So flexible and private standards are a clever tactic. If standards are never declared, and if they can always be rationalized we can never be held accountable.
This is a great way to hide, but a horrible tactic to stand out.
Those who stick their necks out and boldly declare what they stand for and then align their actions with integrity get the most attention.
And in the connection economy, attention is the new net worth.
If you long for environment that will reinforce your values you should check out the Heroic Family Unschooling Experience right now.