A woman emailed me recently and said that she was the mother of 6 boys, one of whom she was married to.
Her social profile said that she was "Building a Cut The Crap Life".
I loved that line...couldn't put it any better than that!
When we began the Vaikido Heroic Family Unschooling Experience we were super focused on the curriculum exercises thinking that hey, this is what children need to succeed in the New Economy.
And they do of course, but we overlooked the linchpin.
a pin passed through the end of an axle to keep a wheel in position.
a person or thing vital to an enterprise or organization.
Parental coaching, discipline, and support, mostly from Mom's, is the linchpin of heroic unschooling. Sure the engine, the chasis, and all that stuff are vital as well, but take out that pin and none of it works.
The vital skills we teach children through our program depend upon consistency, repetition and follow through. And we can't make those things happen without heroic Moms and Dads who are willing to 'cut the crap', make the space, and take the time to make sure that their children get what our education system cannot provide.
Most of us were raised to be 'over busy'. Our parents, neighbors, and practically everyone else were constantly running from place to place. For what? Of all that activity, what percent actually contributed to preparing children for success? And saying, hey, "that's just how life is" is an ignorant cop out.
That's NOT how life has been for the vast, vast majority of humankind's existence. It's just what everyone alive today thinks is normal or effective, but clearly it's not or we wouldn't have the crazy health, family, financial, political, environmental statistics that we do.
Just thinking about what 'cutting the crap' in your life means may sound hard, but the benefits are ridiculously great.
When you’re lying in bed at 2 in the morning, I guarantee that everything you’re concerned about will be addressed by “cutting out the crap”.
My wife and I know because we’ve done it.
We cut out the needless trips back and forth across town to show up to obligations that didn't serve our family's well being today or our our daughter's well being in the future.
We ruthlessly continue to question commitments before we make them and remedy poor choices as soon as we recognize them. And we’ve gotten real about which of our possessions serve us, and which have a tendency to enslave us.
More time, fewer expenses, happier children, stronger marriage, greater health, and most importantly…space.
Space to coach and prepare our daughters in creative fun ways that fulfill all areas of our life simultaneously.
THE NUMBER ONE PARENTAL COMPLAINT COMES DOWN TO TIME.
Every minute of time that we spend is traded for something else.
Simple and obvious, but it’s not until you carefully examine exactly WHAT you are trading your time for that you can stop talking about “cutting out the crap” and actually start doing it.
You want your kids to be in every extracurricular activity? To go to that expensive school across town that adds 10 hours of car time per week and greater financial demands? To have a perfect lawn and living room? To say yes to everyone’s requests?
Welcome to the American Dream er, lie.
We all have the same 24 hours, and that makes how we spend our 24 extremely important.
There are two things that I wish every parent could get clear on;
1 - Our children’s adult preparation must be our highest priority, and we must PROVE that priority by “cutting out the crap”. Most extracurricular activities, social obligations, and screen time are investments of time that will NOT yield holistic success later in life - truth is...many of them actually diminish adult success.
- Will they yield short term gratification? Sure.
- Will they yield medium term overwhelm? Yup.
- Will they yield long term adult success? NO!
Your children need you to be rested, healthy, patient, and present. You can’t be the coach they need until you regain control by getting brutally honest with how you and your family spend your time.
2 - There are specific skills that your children must develop by the time they are 18, and the sooner they begin (think like 6 years old, maybe even earlier), the better. This is what the amazing Vaikido Heroic Unschooling Experience addresses. You simply can't 'wing it' and expect a high quality result.
We promise to do all that we can to make it fun, but we also promise that those benefits I talked about early are the result of discipline.
The Vaikido Hero Unschool community is dedicated to showing your children, your family, and yourself the way to becoming 10 year overnight successes.
If you've been sitting on the sidelines, what are you waiting for?
Founder of the Vaikido Hero Unschool